Here’s something that happens more often than you might expect: someone files for divorce, and then a few weeks or months later, they start wondering if they made the right decision.

Maybe the initial anger has settled. Maybe they’ve learned something new about their options. Or maybe they’re realizing that jumping straight into the legal system wasn’t the best first move.

The good news? Filing for divorce doesn’t lock you into anything. You have options to pause, reconsider, or even stop the process entirely – though those options won’t be available indefinitely.

Why People Have Second Thoughts After Filing

In our work with Southern California families, we’ve seen this pattern repeatedly. Couples file for divorce and then realize they needed more time to think things through.

The most common reasons people want to hit the brakes include:

• The filing happened during a particularly heated moment, not as part of a thoughtful plan
• One spouse didn’t fully understand what litigation actually involves
• They want to co-parent peacefully, but the adversarial process is making that harder
• The reality of legal costs starts sinking in
• They realize there might be a less destructive way to handle their situation

We’re not suggesting every case should be stopped. But for many couples, taking time to step back can prevent months of unnecessary conflict and expense.

Your Options for Pausing or Stopping the Process

There are several ways to slow things down once divorce proceedings have started, but the most effective approaches aren’t necessarily legal maneuvers. Often, the solution is more about creating space for better decision-making.

At ClearPath Divorce Advisors, we offer what we call a litigation pause – essentially a structured opportunity for both spouses to step away from the legal machinery and assess whether there’s a better path forward.

Here’s what that involves:

• You don’t have to dismiss your case or file additional paperwork to participate
• We meet with each spouse individually first, then bring you together in a neutral setting
• The goal isn’t reconciliation, but rather clarity about your options
• If either of you decides to continue with the divorce afterward, you can do so with much better understanding of what you’re choosing and why

This process protects your ability to make decisions from a place of clarity rather than crisis.

When Only One Spouse Wants to Stop

This is probably the most challenging scenario, and unfortunately, it’s quite common. If divorce papers have been filed but only one person wants to pause or stop the process, the situation becomes more complex.

Even so, there’s often value in attempting a brief pause to explore mediation. You might discover that your spouse is more open to alternatives than you initially thought, or that you’ve both been operating on incorrect assumptions about each other’s intentions.

The key factor isn’t whether you’re both equally enthusiastic about stopping – it’s whether you’re both willing to have an honest conversation about your options.

Understanding California’s Timeline

California requires a six-month waiting period after filing before a divorce can be finalized. Many people don’t realize this time can be used intentionally rather than just waiting it out.

If you’re within that six-month window, it’s often an ideal time to pause the adversarial process and explore whether mediation or collaborative divorce might work better for your situation.

What Our Litigation Pause Process Includes

The process we’ve developed includes:

• Individual consultations with each spouse (1 hour each)
• A joint session where we facilitate discussion about your options (3 hours)
• A clear framework for deciding next steps, whether that’s continuing with mediation, trying collaborative divorce, or returning to traditional litigation

The Bottom Line: Filing Doesn’t Mean You’re Committed

Filing for divorce is a significant step, but it’s not irreversible. If you’re having doubts, feeling overwhelmed, or simply want to explore whether there’s a less destructive way forward, those feelings are worth paying attention to.

At ClearPath Divorce Advisors, we help Southern California couples create the space they need to make decisions thoughtfully rather than reactively. Sometimes the best thing you can do is slow down long enough to make sure you’re choosing the right path.

This article is part of our educational series from ClearPath Divorce Advisors, helping Southern California families find alternatives to traditional divorce litigation.